14 Self-Supportive Ways To Soothe Yourself

I've talked to quite a few people in the last few weeks who are feeling kind of funky (ranging anywhere from "got a bit of the blues" to "completely overwhelmed".) With the holiday season on its way, and daily reminders of swine flu and "the economy" still dominating the papers and internet, it can be a challenge to trust that All Is Well. If you're dealing with a chronic health condition on top of all this "background noise", some days it can seem like feeling good (emotionally OR physically) is next to impossible! It's during times like these that many of us are tempted to turn to self-destructive behaviours (like drinking too much alcohol, overeating, or picking fights with loved ones) as ways to cope with everything life has thrown our way. While these actions may make you feel better for a short while, in the end you're likely to end up regretting these choices. The good news is there are a lot of other ways to soothe yourself that will help you start to feel better immediately, and will continue to support your mental, emotional, and physical health over the long term.

If you're anything like me, part of the problem is that once you get into a funk, the more creative part of your brain seems to shut down, and it's difficult to think of anything useful to do to help yourself. That's why I keep a handy list of ideas around to pull out when I need a boost! Here (in no particular order) are some of my favourite self-supportive soothing activities:

Music: Music is such a powerful mood booster. It's so easy to put some on and it's an almost instant soother. Make a playlist of your favourite musical soothers on your Ipod or computer (I like playlist.com) for some "touch of a button" relief!

Hobbies: When you're feeling down is probably not the time to go looking for a new hobby; I've found a lot of comfort in engaging in a familiar one. Knitting, playing a musical instrument, making bread, painting, or building models are all examples of hobbies that can be extremely soothing to the spirit. As an added bonus, you get the satisfaction of creating something!

Nature: Connecting with the natural world seems to have magical restorative powers for most people. Watch the birds at the feeder or birdbath, dig around in the garden, or go for a hike in the woods.

Find something to laugh about: We've all heard the saying "laughter is the best medicine", and for good reason! I have a stash of go-to movies to pull out when I need a good dose of silliness (50 First Dates, When Harry Met Sally, Just Like Heaven, School of Rock, and the Steve Martin/Lily Tomlin classic, All of Me). Humorous books and stand-up comedy DVDs by comedians who tickle your funny bone are other excellent choices for some "laughter therapy".

Water: A good long hot bath or shower is at the top of my list when I need a pick-me-up!

Hot beverages: Curling up with a hot cup of coffee, tea or hot cocoa is something you can take a few minutes to do even in the midst of one of those "crazy" days. If you tend to overdo it with caffeine, an herbal tea might be the best option for you.

Soothing scents: Light some scented candles, or fill your house with a seasonal spicy scent by simmering some cinnamon sticks and orange rind on the stove. If you enjoy using essential oils, lavender, lemon, ylang ylang and rose are all calming scents (putting them in a diffuser is great if you have one). There are some creative "recipes" for using essential oils to soothe yourself here.

Move Your Body: When you're feeling blue or overwhelmed, you're less likely to feel like moving your body; ironically this is probably the time when it would benefit you the most! Try a short walk or a few minutes on the yoga mat. You may find that once you start moving you find yourself enjoying it, and end up doing more than you planned.

Inspirational videos or CDs: I have a stack of Abraham-Hicks CDs that I keep around to put on when I feel like I'm starting to "lose it". If I'm working on the computer, I may jump over to YouTube and watch one of their videos for a quick pick-me-up. This works great for me, but for my husband would be a form of self-torture (grin). If Abe's not your thing, find something else that inspires you and remember to pull it out when you need it!

Reading: Getting lost in a good book is a self-soothing strategy I've used since early childhood. Fortunately there are so many books coming out these days that there will always be something new and exciting to check out, no matter what your favourite genre.

Take a nap: Sometimes a little extra rest is all you really need to feel well-balanced again. If you know you've been pushing yourself too hard, tuck yourself into bed for a mid-afternoon nap. If you can't do this during the work week, treat yourself on the weekend. I guarantee you life will seem rosier when you wake up!

Snuggle someone: Go find a kid or a pet to cuddle up with.

Be a kid: Remember all those fun games you used to play as a kid? They're still fun now. If you're all alone, try pattern puzzle games like Rush Hour, or a game of solitaire (play it with real cards, not on the computer; learn dozens of new solitaire games here). If you've got a playing partner or two handy, break out the Yahtzee, Backgammon, Sorry and Clue.

Keep up the daily tapping! You knew I had to mention it eventually...I just had to include tapping on a list of self-supportive soothing activities! If you missed my last post, go check it out for a list of fun and easy daily tapping suggestions.

For a maximum dose of self-soothing, pull out all the stops and combine a few of these into an Ultimate Self-Soothing Experience. Take a hot bath with essential oils while listening to music and reading a funny book, take a walk on a nature trail while listening to an inspirational talk on your Ipod, or snuggle up on the couch with a kid and a dog while watching a funny movie and sipping hot cocoa.

I hope this list inspires you to find some new and creative ways to find your "feel good" again. If you have a favourite self-soothing activity I haven't mentioned, please share it with us!

What Do Apples and Tapping Have in Common?

We've all heard the saying "an apple a day keeps the doctor away." A similar sentiment would be appropriate for tapping! I encourage all of my clients to make tapping a part of their daily life and I am committed to tapping every day myself.

I know it can feel like a daily tapping practice is just one more thing to do when you already have a long list of "things I should do every day, but never seem to make the time for." The great thing about tapping is that you can do it in really small windows of time - as little as 1-2 minutes - making it a relatively easy commitment. Whether or not you're working with an EFT practitioner, a daily tapping habit is an empowering way to support yourself. If you are dealing with a chronic health issue such as physical pain or trying to lose weight, a daily tapping practice is one of the best ways I know to enhance your feelings of emotional AND physical well-being.

Daily tapping doesn't have to be complicated OR time-consuming. In fact, I think it should definitely be FUN and EASY- that way you are much more likely to do it. Here are a few easy ways to make tapping part of your daily life:

1. Tap to music
One of the great things about tapping to music is that it can help you "tap into" a desired state. If you want to feel more relaxed, put on some relaxing music and tap. If you want to feel energized, choose a song that makes you feel like dancing in the streets! Simply choose an appropriate tune and tap through the points while listening.

This is one of my personal favourites; it's a beautiful, uplifting song with a rhythm that's perfect for tapping along to!



2. Tap along to a video or script
If you are one of the many people I know who feel like they "don't know what to say" when tapping, scripts and videos can be a great way to do some tapping that's a bit more structured without having to worry about coming up with "the right words."

One of the most popular EFT videos on YouTube (and one that I've enjoyed using myself) is Brad Yates' Tap O' the Mornin'. It's an inspiring way to start your day!



Many EFT practitioners offer free e-books that include tapping scripts. My own Tapping into Body Joy e-book contains several scripts that are specifically for people working on physical health and body issues. If you don't have a copy yet, you can download it by clicking on the cover photo in the sidebar.

3. Combine tapping with your gratitude or appreciation practice
A daily gratitude practice -whether writing in a gratitude journal or sitting and focusing on appreciating the good things in your life - has become a popular ritual. You can easily combine this practice with tapping. Tap on the points while you state each item on your list for which you're thankful.

4. Walk n' tap
You can easily tap while out walking - whether it's an exercise walk or a stroll with the dog, walking and tapping is a great combination. If you're walking in a remote area, you can tap through all the points as usual. If you're in a busier area and want to be more discreet, simply use the finger points instead.

Most of these techniques are not designed to address core issues or clear deep blocks, but rather to "prime" the energy system and keep the body's subtle energies moving freely. As you tap while accessing states of relaxation, appreciation or exhilaration, it will help to reinforce these states within your energy system.

You may also find that some of the "deeper" issues may surface while using these simple techniques. If you don't feel comfortable tapping on them right away, making note of them in a tapping journal is a great way to make sure these issues don't get forgotten. After using some of these fun and easy approaches to daily tapping, you may be surprised to find that soon you'll be whizzing through several rounds of more traditional EFT all on your own without giving it a second thought!

Do you have a favourite fun & easy tapping ritual? If so, I'd love to hear about it!

Image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

Is an "Either/Or" Standing Between You and Perfect Health?

Recently, my friend and fellow EFTer Paul Zelizer discussed in one of his blog posts how he worked through an issue he had about choosing integrity over money. These types of "either/or" beliefs (in this case, "I can have integrity OR money, but not both) are prevalent in our thinking, even though a lot of the time we're not even aware of it. This is just as true when it comes to health issues as it is with our finances. For one reason or another, at some point in our lives, we managed to convince ourselves that we had to choose between two things we really want (often this is at a subconscious level). After all, most of us have been told repeatedly that we can't have our cake and eat it, too! So, we believe we have to choose one need over the other, and in the end, whichever need feels safer and more comfortable wins.

Spotting an "Either/Or" Belief
Unearthing an "either/or" may require you to be uncomfortably honest with yourself. Ask yourself what the drawbacks would be to attaining your perfect weight or recovering completely from your illness. You may hear yourself saying something like:

"If I lose the weight, my mom will be too jealous of me"

"As long as I'm fat, I can be sure people really like me for who I am and not how I look"

"As long as I'm sick, I have a convenient excuse for getting out of doing work I dislike"

"My chronic pain gives me permission not to live up to other people's (or my own) expectations"

"My illness guarantees that I'll get lots of attention from my family and friends"

In each case, there is an unconscious "either/or" lurking behind these statements.

-Either I can be thin, or I can feel loved and supported

-Either I can be fat, or I will feel insecure about whether I am being accepted for who I really am

-Either I can be sick, or I will have to do work I dislike

-Either I can be in pain, or I will be expected to be perfect

-Either I can be sick, or I can be lonely and unloved

Once you've detected an "either/or" belief, I highly recommend using Dr Pat Carrington's "Choices" method to deal with it. This is a wonderful technique that will allow you to affirm that you can choose BOTH of the things you desire. Some examples of setups using the choices method would be:

"Even though I'm scared mom will be too jealous if I lose the weight, I choose to be at my ideal weight and feel completely loved and supported"

"Even though I'm afraid I will have to go back to a job I hate if I get over this illness, I choose to be completely healthy and do work I love"

Once you have put together a Choices statement that feels really good to you, I suggest tapping on it several times per day. A more detailed explanation of how to use the Choices method can be found here.

Remember, as one of my favourite teachers, Abraham, says: "You are supposed to get EVERYTHING you want!" You don't need to settle for either/or - choose BOTH.

Image by Andy Newson, courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

6 Reasons to Keep a Tapping Journal

The more I use EFT, the more I'm convinced that it's important to keep a written record of your tapping experiences. Certainly, not every single "tap session" needs to be noted. Little things like tapping when you've burned your finger on the stove, or can't find the car keys, probably don't need to be written down (unless either of these is a routine occurrence - then it might be related to a core issue, and worth looking at in closer detail!) I do think it's enormously valuable to keep detailed notes about tapping sessions on the "big issues" you're working on - the chronic ones like an ongoing health challenge.

Here are six different ways that keeping a tapping journal can lead to more effective and powerful EFT sessions:

1. Keep track of issues and incidents you want to tap on. This could include your Personal Peace Procedure list, or notes on different aspects of a particular issue (like chronic back pain) that you want to explore in your tapping. Keeping these all jotted down in one place means you won't have to waste time at the start of your EFT session wondering what to tap on!

2. Record issues and aspects you've tapped on - note whether you did the work on your own or with a practitioner or tapping buddy. Often, even if you've tapped on something on your own, it may be worth exploring again with a tapping partner - they can help you see aspects you may have missed.

3. Document changes in intensity levels (0-10 "SUDS" score) before and after tapping. This allows you to get a clear picture of how effective your tapping is. This is particularly important when you're working on your own - sometimes EFT works so well that you can "forget" that the issue that is now a zero used to be a ten!

4. Write down new aspects, incidents and insights that surface during your tapping sessions. These will come in handy for future tapping sessions! It's important to note them down ASAP so you don't forget about them later. These notes may help you see themes that will allow you to detect a core issue.

5. Record "homework assignments" and/or tapping phrases suggested by your EFT practitioner or tapping buddy. You can also record anything new that comes up while you're doing your homework assignments, to discuss with your practitioner or tapping partner during your next session.

6. Note shifts in perception/experience I ask clients to pay attention to what happens in their life related to the issue we've been tapping on. Sometimes things shift in such a subtle way that if you're not paying attention, you don't notice the change! So, for example, if you've been working on a weight issue, notice any ways that your experiences with your body and/or food feel different to you.

Keeping a tapping journal has been tremendously useful for me personally, and I now encourage all of my clients to keep one, too! I hope you'll consider starting your own tapping journal to enhance your EFT sessions.

Image by Suat Eman, courtesy of freedigalphotos.net

Are You Ready to Stop Struggling with Your Symptoms?

Today's post was written by my friend and fellow EFT Practitioner, Paul Zelizer. Like me, Paul has some personal experience dealing with challenging physical symptoms and I appreciate him agreeing to share his wisdom with us here!

Like many people, when I first came to EFT, my life was far from peaceful. I was going through a separation, wasn't sleeping well, and had a range of physical symptoms that the medical system didn't know what to do with. I tried many things to get rid of these problems and symptoms. None of them worked very well.

Recently, I've had a number of new clients who have come with a range of physical symptoms. They too have tried western medicine, acupuncture, bodywork, chiropractic, and energy healers. One man came to me after trying 4 other EFT therapists with no success. The common theme that all these healers have shared is trying to get rid of the problem.

These past few weeks, I have been reminded again of the wisdom of the body. Most times our symptoms are the body using the language it knows to try and tell us something. Trying to get rid of the problem without understanding the healing message of the body is like removing the brakes on your car when you hear a metallic sound. It's not a good lasting solution to the problem.

As we have used EFT to open to the core issue behind the problem, clients have heard the message that were behind the sinus headaches (stuck grief about a death of a loved one) and the chronic back pain that wouldn't respond to any other treatment (pain free for weeks now). It been a reminder of using EFT with the body instead of focusing on "getting rid of".

Here's how you can use EFT in this way:

The Problem:

KC: Even though I just want to get rid of this issue I have, I love and accept myself anyway.
KC: Even though I wish I had a magic wand that would just make it go away, I am willing to treat myself with kindness and compassion.
KC: Even though I thought EFT would just take this problem away and it hasn't yet, I'm open to the possibility of using EFT with a little different focus.
EB: This issue hasn't completely gone away yet.
SE: I wish this problem would just leave.
UE: I am REALLY tired of this problem.
UN: I wish I could just wave a magic EFT wand and POOF! it would be gone.
CH: I wonder if it could be true that maybe my body is trying to tell me something with this issue.
CB: I thought EFT is supposed to deliver immediate results.
UA: I wonder what might happen if I could listen to what my body is saying just a little more.

The Solution:

KC: Even though in the past I just wanted to get rid of my problems, I'm willing to treat myself with kindness and compassion anyway.
KC: Even though I haven't listened to my body in the past, I'm open to listening a little more now.
KC: Even though I thought EFT would just take this problem away and it hasn't yet, I'm curious about what will happen as I start to listen to my body and open to the possibility of using EFT with a little different focus.
EB: I haven't yet seen the all results I would like with EFT.
SE: I'm curious, what if I could learn to listen to my body a little more.
UE: Could my body help me learn more about what is causing my issues?
UN: I'm choosing to listen to my body a little more.
CH: It would be nice to work a little more closely with my body on this issue.
CB: I'm starting to see that my body can help me find the healing I'm looking for.
UA: I'm excited to explore how my body and I can work together for healing!

In learning the mechanics of EFT, sometimes we forget to listen deeply. I hope that this tapping sequence can help you reconnect with the body's wisdom and deepen your ability to find the core issues underneath the symptoms. These past few weeks have been a powerful reminder about what happens when we do this.

Paul Zelizer is an EFT and Law of Attraction coach with an international practice. He is the author of Money Makeover 2.0: 5 Steps to Financial Well-being in Today's Economy and The 10 Biggest EFT Mistakes and What to Do About Them. He specializes in helping clients increase abundance as well as clear away chronic physical conditions. Learn more about Paul's work at successfuleft.com.

Image by Andy Newson, courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

The Courage to Let Go and Leap Forward

After posting my thoughts about building a Positive Support Network, I received a number of comments (via Facebook, Twitter, and private email) about how Step 1 (Be willing to release yourself from toxic environments and people in your life) is much easier said than done!

It's almost amusing how much most of us resist letting go of the things that aren't working in our lives (and I'm definitely referring to myself here, too!) What's familiar feels comfortable and safe to us, even if we don't like it. Even if we aren't willing to admit it, we know that we need to let go of certain people, habits, commitments, possessions (and maybe even the job we've hated forever) if we are going to move in the direction of our dreams. This is just as true whether the dream is a successful career or a strong and healthy body.

Letting go of what's no longer serving us is an act of courage and trust - the courage to honour our true needs and desires, and the trust that by releasing what we no longer need, we are creating space for our heart's desires to move into our lives.

EFT is a wonderful tool to help us through this process of letting go. Here is a tapping script to get you started (as usual, feel free to adapt the wording in any way that feels right for you):

Karate Chop (Setup):
Even though I've been denying my own needs and desires for a long time, I love and accept myself anyway.
Even though I always say YES when I really mean NO, I forgive myself for not being able to speak my own truth.
Even though it feels scary to let go of things, I'm willing to trust my own instincts about what I no longer need in my life.
Even though I always do what other people think I should do, instead of listening to my heart, I'm open to the idea that I have the courage to follow my heart now.

Eyebrow: I've always been a people pleaser
Side of Eye: It's selfish to ask for what I want
Under Eye: What if I start saying "NO" and no one likes me anymore?
Under Nose: I'm afraid to ask for what I want
Chin: I'm afraid to let go of things
Collarbone: What if I let go and I have nothing left?
Under Arm: I worry about what everyone else thinks
Top of Head: I've never been good at setting boundaries

Eyebrow: Maybe it's safe for me to let go of a few things
Side of Eye: I'm ready for a change anyway
Under Eye: No one else can know what's right for me
Under Nose: It's safe for me to speak up for myself
Chin: I can say "NO" and still be kind and loving
Collarbone: I can easily release things I no longer need
Under Arm: It's safe for me to honour my own needs and desires
Top of Head: I give myself permission to be true to my Authentic Self

Recommended Resource:
Cheryl Richardson's Stand Up For Your Life has many useful suggestions and exercises for helping you to let go of what you no longer need in your life with love and grace.

What is it time for you to let go of?

Image by Federico Stevanin, courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

Building a Positive Support Network

"We need to surround ourselves with encouraging believers who see through our limiting beliefs to the huge powerful souls that we are." ~Christine Kane

A few weeks ago, I was working through a "big issue" of mine with a friend and fellow EFT practitioner. At the time I was feeling completely overwhelmed (okay, I admit it, I was in a full-on Freak Out mode). Partway through our session together, she asked me, "Are you getting the support you need right now?" Ummm. Not So Much. And I know I'm not the only one! Many of us, when we are going through difficult times, have a tendency to withdraw into our own little Private Hell and cut ourselves off from the world around us. We may feel too embarrassed or ashamed to ask for help. We may feel like we don't want to burden our friends or family with our problems. We may be afraid that if we ask for help, no one will give it to us.

We all need to feel supported in our lives! Having a well-developed Positive Support Network can make a huge difference in anyone's life; when you're dealing with a chronic health issue, I think it's even more important. If you've had a problem for a long time, it can seem like there is nothing and no one that could possibly give you the help or support you need. Building a Positive Support Network during times when you feel good means that you will know where to turn during times when you are feeling overwhelmed, emotionally drained, or physically depleted.

How to Build Your Positive Support Network:

Step 1:
Be willing to release yourself from toxic environments and people in your life.
This includes "support groups" of any kind that continually focus on problems rather than solutions. You know the ones I mean - that weight loss group where everyone complains about how IMPOSSIBLE it is to lose weight, or the chronic pain group where everyone's focused on the daily misery of their life.

It can be hard to let go of what's familiar, but moving forward means letting go of things that are no longer serving you. This allows space for things that *do* serve you to move into your life!

Step 2:
Intentionally build a multi-faceted Positive Support Network. A well-developed network will provide you with the people, groups, websites, books and other resources you need to THRIVE, no matter what challenges you are facing with your body right now. It should include at least one key support from each of the following areas:

Physical Support:
-physically nurturing practices (maybe it's time to try out that yoga class!)

-someone to help with any physically challenging tasks - this could be either a friend, family member or professional - someone who can be available to help with housecleaning, groceries, cooking, or any physical tasks. You might need this type of support on a regular or on-call basis.

Emotional Support:
-friends and family who can offer positive encouragement when you're feeling down

-a tapping buddy (find one at the Tapping Buddies website)

-support groups, either in-person or online, specific to your physical health issue (select these CAREFULLY! A *good* support group is one in which the members can relate to your experience, but not wallow in your misery with you. One where people can encourage and uplift each other, and focus on finding solutions to challenges other members are facing.)

-professional support (a therapist, counselor, coach or EFT practitioner) - a professional support person can be immensely valuable in helping you to move forward when you're feeling "stuck" or discouraged.

Spiritual Support:
-a local church or other organized spiritual community

-an online group or forum

-at least one friend or group you can connect with regularly about a shared passion; whatever it is that really feeds your soul, whether that's knitting (check out a local knitting circle) or astronomy (find a club in your area!)

I'm sure there are many other possibilities for your network that I haven't included here; hopefully this list will stimulate your creativity and get you off to a great start!

I have a brand new resource you may want to consider adding to your Positive Support Network. I've just started a Body Joy group on Facebook, to provide support to anyone who is dealing with chronic pain, chronic health, or weight issues. I know this is going to be an amazing community filled with caring, supportive, and resourceful people, so I hope you'll consider joining us! If you're having trouble building your Positive Support Network, I'm sure we can give you some great ideas.

image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net