Unwrapping the Gift of Illness

"It requires the most inspiring kind of courage to accept that what you have and where you are is good." ~Mama Gena

I received this quote in my inbox this morning, and it struck me how very true this statement is with regards to illness. It's natural to perceive any form of illness or dis-ease as something "bad", something to get upset about. Family, friends and neighbours sympathize with us; "Oh, I'm so sorry this happened to you, what a shame. You don't deserve this."

What if, instead of being a random "punishment", illness was actually a gift? What if, as the quote above suggests, "what you have (illness) and where you are is good?" You might be shaking your head and thinking, "If this is gift, it's definitely not one I want to keep. It's the kind I want to shove under the bed with that purple and orange sweater Aunt Edna knit me, and the Chia pet my brother gave me for my 12th birthday."

I totally understand. When I was first diagnosed with fibromyalgia, I would have wanted to smack anyone who suggested that this disease was, in any way, shape, or form, a gift. From where I'm standing now, fifteen years later, I can see that it most definitely was a blessing in disguise. I received my fibromyalgia diagnosis when I was in graduate school. At that time in my life, I was completely stressed out, and definitely feeling like a square peg trying to shove itself into a round hole. I had invested a lot of time and energy into pursuing a career that I now understood at some level was a horrible fit for my natural talents and temperament. The problem was that I didn't want to admit to myself that I had made a mistake, so I kept trying to ignore my instincts, and continued to press forward along this path I had chosen. I believe the fibromyalgia showed up to try and get my attention in a really, really BIG way, since I'd been doing my best to ignore all the smaller, more subtle messages (physical, emotional, and spiritual) I was getting. The arrival of fibromyalgia into my life was the beginning of me truly getting to know myself; who I really was and what I was really here for. I'm incredibly stubborn, so it took me an entire decade after my diagnosis to formally walk away from the career I hated and claim my right to do something that respected my temperament and totally fulfilled me on every level. If I hadn't had the fibromyalgia (and a variety of other dis-ease symptoms) to prod me along, I'm not sure I would ever have had the courage to walk away. I was so physically, emotionally and spiritually drained by the time I left my former career, that there really wasn't anything else I could have done but leave, if I had any hope of maintaining my sanity.

So, if you're ready, you can summon up all your courage, and start to ask yourself some questions about why this illness you've been fighting with might be a gift in disguise. How might it be a form of self-protection, what might it be asking you to remember about yourself? What parts of yourself have you been trying to deny or suppress? How might "what you have and where you are" be good after all?

The answers to these questions can provide some very useful material to tap on. This can be some extremely intense work, and it might not be something you want to do all on your own. It can help to have someone - a close friend, tapping buddy or EFT Practitioner - to guide you along in these explorations.

The answers you are seeking are already inside you. You can trust that letting them out into the light of day will only allow you to become more fully Yourself.

image by Suat Eman, courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net