Is an "Either/Or" Standing Between You and Perfect Health?

Recently, my friend and fellow EFTer Paul Zelizer discussed in one of his blog posts how he worked through an issue he had about choosing integrity over money. These types of "either/or" beliefs (in this case, "I can have integrity OR money, but not both) are prevalent in our thinking, even though a lot of the time we're not even aware of it. This is just as true when it comes to health issues as it is with our finances. For one reason or another, at some point in our lives, we managed to convince ourselves that we had to choose between two things we really want (often this is at a subconscious level). After all, most of us have been told repeatedly that we can't have our cake and eat it, too! So, we believe we have to choose one need over the other, and in the end, whichever need feels safer and more comfortable wins.

Spotting an "Either/Or" Belief
Unearthing an "either/or" may require you to be uncomfortably honest with yourself. Ask yourself what the drawbacks would be to attaining your perfect weight or recovering completely from your illness. You may hear yourself saying something like:

"If I lose the weight, my mom will be too jealous of me"

"As long as I'm fat, I can be sure people really like me for who I am and not how I look"

"As long as I'm sick, I have a convenient excuse for getting out of doing work I dislike"

"My chronic pain gives me permission not to live up to other people's (or my own) expectations"

"My illness guarantees that I'll get lots of attention from my family and friends"

In each case, there is an unconscious "either/or" lurking behind these statements.

-Either I can be thin, or I can feel loved and supported

-Either I can be fat, or I will feel insecure about whether I am being accepted for who I really am

-Either I can be sick, or I will have to do work I dislike

-Either I can be in pain, or I will be expected to be perfect

-Either I can be sick, or I can be lonely and unloved

Once you've detected an "either/or" belief, I highly recommend using Dr Pat Carrington's "Choices" method to deal with it. This is a wonderful technique that will allow you to affirm that you can choose BOTH of the things you desire. Some examples of setups using the choices method would be:

"Even though I'm scared mom will be too jealous if I lose the weight, I choose to be at my ideal weight and feel completely loved and supported"

"Even though I'm afraid I will have to go back to a job I hate if I get over this illness, I choose to be completely healthy and do work I love"

Once you have put together a Choices statement that feels really good to you, I suggest tapping on it several times per day. A more detailed explanation of how to use the Choices method can be found here.

Remember, as one of my favourite teachers, Abraham, says: "You are supposed to get EVERYTHING you want!" You don't need to settle for either/or - choose BOTH.

Image by Andy Newson, courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net