BODY JOY

The "Laundry List" Technique: A Tool for the Completely Overwhelmed

2010-02-03T08:46:00.000-08:00

Sometimes tapping is very straightforward. You have a specific issue that's bothering you, you tap on it, get the intensity down to zero, and move on with your day. Sometimes, it's a lot more complicated. Often, I have clients who are in a complete state of overwhelm about many aspects of their lives. There are so many things they "need to tap on" that they don't even know where to begin. While tapping on "even though I feel completely overwhelmed" can be a good place to start, I've come up with a technique that is simple enough that it doesn't add to the overwhelm, and at the same time it's comprehensive enough to assure you that you WILL address all of the issues swirling around in your head. I affectionately refer to it as the "Laundry List Technique"

To do this technique, you'll need:
3 pieces of paper
2 index cards
a pen
about 30 minutes the first day, then a few minutes daily
Optional but highly recommended: hot cup of tea or coffee and some great music - make yourself comfortable!

Step 1: Take one piece of paper and write down as many things as you can think of that are bugging you about your life right now. Everything from "I'm sick of weighing 200 LB" to "I'm totally stressed because my son's flunking algebra". If it's a really long list, that's totally fine. No need to edit anything - get it all down!

Step 2: Take a Deep Breath. It's going to be okay (really).

Step 3: Look back over your list and rate each item you wrote down on an intensity scale of 1-10 (with 10 being the most intense; as in "this is about to drive me right over the edge!")

Step 4: Once you've rated every item, pick *ONE* that you rated near the top (8-10 intensity) and *ONE* that is a low intensity (preferably 1-3). If everything on your list is rated over 7, try to think of a couple of things that are smaller irritations in your life that you'd rate 5 or under and add them to your list (it's important to have a lower intensity item to work on because it will likely get down to zero much quicker and help you feel like you're making progress).

Step 5: Take another sheet of paper and write at the top " What I Want". Then take each item on your original list (which are the things you *don't* want) and turn them around. "I'm sick of weighing 200 LB" becomes something like "I love that it feel effortless to maintain my ideal weight of 130 LB". "I'm totally stressed that my son's flunking algebra" could become "I'm totally at peace about my son's academic performance".

Step 6: Take your third piece of paper and write an afformation for each of the items you DO want. An afformation is phrased as a "why" question, and encourages your brain to look for the answers to a positive question. So, for the two examples above, the afformations would be "Why is it so effortless to maintain my ideal weight of 130 LB?" and "Why do I feel so totally at peace about my son's academic performance?"

Step 7. Take another deep breath. We're almost done!

Step 8. On one index card, write down the two issues you picked to start working on, along with their corresponding afformations. You are going to tap on these two issues daily, until they are a zero intensity. I suggest tapping one round using the traditional "negative" EFT phrasing (i.e. "even though I'm sick of weighing 200 LB"), one round of your afformation, then a third round alternating the two phrases, ending with the afformation. You'll probably find your lower-intensity issue will get to zero intensity first, so once that happens, go ahead and pick another lower intensity issue while you continue with the high intensity one (so you've always got two issues you're tapping on daily). With the higher intensity issues, you will probably need to take some time to work on specific events related to them as well.

Step 9: On the second index card, write out your entire list of afformations, then put it in a place where you can see it regularly (I have mine propped up on my computer monitor). Read it through several times a day (I read mine while I'm waiting for my computer to boot up, load a website, etc). You can tap while you read each item aloud if you want to make this even more effective.

Step 10: Rinse and repeat! Tap on your two issues daily, and read your afformations list several times per day. You should find that within a couple of weeks (if not sooner) you're feeling a lot more positive and less out-of-control. Every time you get an item down to zero, go back and cross it off your original list (and notice how much lighter you feel!)

If you decide to give the "Laundry List Technique" a try, I'd love to hear how it works for you!

"This Shouldn't Be Happening!"

2010-01-21T10:05:00.000-08:00

At the beginning of the month, I was just getting started on an inspiring little post to help everyone kick off the new year on a positive note, when my personal world got rocked BIGTIME. A Huge Personal Crisis arrived at my door, seemingly out of nowhere, and knocked me flat on my butt. The kind of thing that makes you feel like you're coming apart at the seams. The kind of thing that makes you want to go to bed for 6 months and hope it'll all be gone when you wake up. The kind of thing that makes you wonder if anything in your life will ever be the same again.

And of course my first reaction to this crisis was "This should NOT be happening!" Not to *me*, and certainly not right now! I did NOT want to accept this big mess as part of my life. But like John Lennon said, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." Just when we think we know where we're headed, we're handed a big, unpleasant "surprise". Often, our bodies are involved in some way. Like when we get a frightening diagnosis. Or a chronic illness gets worse instead of better, even after we "did everything right". You'll have to excuse the Star Trek reference, but the Borg do have a point when they say "Resistance is futile." When this really big stuff hits, there's not much else you can do but surrender to it, accept that it's part of your life journey, and move forward with as much grace as you can muster (even if that's not a whole lot).

Of course, EFT is a powerful tool for helping you to release that resistance and move forward. Here's a tapping script to help you find more peace when life throws you a giant curveball:

Setup (karate chop):
Even though I'm absolutely sure that this should not be happening to me, I love and accept myself
Even though I can't believe this is happening, and I don't know what did I do to deserve this, I accept who I am and how I feel
Even though I'm terrified right now, and I don't know if I can handle this, I love and accept myself, and I'm open to receiving support in any way it wants to come to me

Eyebrow: This should NOT be happening to me!
Side of Eye: I can't handle this right now
Under Eye: This isn't fair, I've done everything right
Under Nose: I'm so scared
Chin: How could this happen to ME?
Collarbone: I don't know what to do
Under Arm: Nothing is ever going to be the same again
Top of Head: I wish someone else could fix this for me

Eyebrow: I just want this to go away!
Side of Eye: What did I do wrong?
Under Eye: This isn't the life I ordered
Under Nose: I would NOT have chosen this!
Chin: Maybe on some level I did choose this
Collarbone: Maybe there's a gift in here somewhere
Under Arm: I don't know why this happened
Top of Head: But I can choose to trust that it's part of my journey

Eyebrow: I can choose to trust
Side of Eye: That I'm going to learn more about Who I Really Am
Under Eye: I'm open to the idea
Under Nose: That I can release my resistance to this experience
Chin: I can choose to relax and surrender
Collarbone: I can trust that the Universe is always supporting me
Under Arm: I'm open to feeling fully supported
Top of Head: I choose to move forward with grace & ease

As always, make sure to tap on any specific events that come up, too!

More resources for helping you deal with The Really Tough Stuff:

The Work (also see any of Byron Katie's books, especially Loving What Is)

Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow by Elizabeth Lesser

Image by Salvatore Vuono, courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

Presence Amidst the Presents

2009-12-21T09:44:00.000-08:00

"If you think you're enlightened, go spend a week with your family" ~Ram Dass

If your holiday schedule is anything like mine, over the next week or so you'll be spending a lot of time visiting with extended family. For many of us, emotions and stress levels are already running high, and then we get to throw some challenging extended-family dynamics into the mix. We all want to be able to relax and enjoy our time with our families, but sometimes it can seem like a really tall order to fill! Here are a few strategies to help make that a real possibility:

1. Release expectations
We often enter into a gathering with a lot of expectations (both positive and negative): "I hope everyone loves the dessert I made"; "I just know Grandma's going to get in a few digs about my divorce, so I better brace myself now"; "I know no-one's going to appreciate the gifts I bought." No wonder we're already stressed by the time we even arrive on the scene! Try to release feeling attached to any particular outcome and just let whatever happens, happen.

2. Assume positive intent
It's easy to assume that Aunt Jane meant to make us feel terrible by that offhand remark she made. In truth, we don't have any way of knowing what other people's intentions are. Words and actions only have the meanings *we* give to them. So why not assume that everyone's intentions are good? We are all doing the best we can at any given moment.

3. Find something to appreciate
Even when things aren't going quite the way we planned or wished for, there are always plenty of things to appreciate. Choose to look for them. The cozy warmth of a fire, the kids playing happily with their cousins, a warm hug from a distant relative you haven't seen in years are all worth celebrating, so take the time to really notice them.

4. Reclaim a state of wonder
Remember when you were a kid and everything about the holiday season seemed totally magical? All the same magical stuff is still all around us, we've just misplaced our "wonder" glasses. Take a cue from the kids - go outside and make some snow angels, catch snow on your tongue, or have a tickle-fight with your nieces and nephews (they will probably remember it for years).

5. Stay open to joy
Once you drop your expectations of what "should" be happening, it's a lot easier to see the joy that is everywhere around you. A willingness to "let it in" is all it takes. You may experience joy in the most unexpected places, so be on the lookout and I know you'll find it!

Image by Danilo Rizzuti, courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

It Really IS a Wonderful Life!

2009-11-26T10:16:00.000-08:00

The holiday classic "It's a Wonderful Life" is one of my favourite movies. It's a perfect illustration of the power the stories we tell about our life have to shape that life. The main character, George Bailey, is filled with despair when his uncle loses a huge chunk of money from their business on the way to deposit it at the bank. Nothing seems to have gone right for him for a very long time: while he's always dreamed of having big adventures traveling the world, he's been trapped in the sleepy town of Bedford Falls struggling to hold together the business his father started. He believes he's wasted his entire life and now the wealthy and powerful Mr. Potter (who's been trying to bring the Bailey family down for years) will finally win, seize control of the Bailey business, and get George arrested for embezzlement. George sees nothing but a bleak future ahead and decides his life's not worth living anymore. He's just about to end it all when the angel Clarence appears and gives George the gift of seeing what the world would be like if he'd never been born. As Clarence takes him on a trip through the events that would have occurred during his "lifetime" if George hadn't been there, George finally comes to understand that his existence has blessed many people, and that he has many things to be thankful for as well. He really *has* had a great life! It's just that he was focusing on all the things that hadn't worked out the way he planned.

All of us have the power to choose the stories we tell about our lives. Many of us are so convinced we've had it so bad for so long that we can't possibly begin to tell a happier story. Just like George Bailey, we have a tendency to remember all the things that went wrong - all the disappointments and heartbreaks - rather than all of the many ways we've been blessed throughout our lives. And yet we know that if we want anything in our life to change, we need to be able to begin to "tell it the way we want it to be" and *expect* it to be that way!

In my experience, being able to tell a different story about our past allows us to shift our thoughts about the present and what we can reasonably "expect" in the future.

For example, take a look at these two life stories:

Person A's story:
-experienced many health challenges throughout her life (including urinary tract infections, fibromyalgia, severe acid reflux, panic attacks and depression)
-didn't have many friends growing up and had trouble "fitting in" at school
-felt lonely, misunderstood and unsupported to be herself
-struggled to support herself financially in university while friends were out drinking and partying with their parents' money
-worked at a high-stress and much hated job for a decade to support her family

Person B's story:
-had lots of freedom as a kid and spent hours happily reading books and climbing trees
-got the opportunity to do all kinds of cool things, like competitive gymnastics, horseback riding camp, and water skiing, throughout childhood
-was a straight-A student and won lots of awards and scholarships, including a prestigious national scholarship for graduate school
-met a fantastic life partner at age 16 and has enjoyed a fun and fulfilling nearly 22 year relationship with him
-was blessed with two amazing, healthy, happy kids
-found a job she feels totally passionate about

Which life would YOU rather have?

They are both the same life (mine).

I can choose to tell the Person A story, be filled with bitterness and resentment, and expect life to continue to be difficult and unfair "just like it's always been", or I can choose to tell the Person B story, and be filled with appreciation for all the blessings that have come my way, and expect life to continue to be easy and fun, "just like it's always been".

What story are you going to choose to tell? I hope you will choose to have a Wonderful Life - I know I'm glad I did!

Image by Daniel St. Pierre, courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

14 Self-Supportive Ways To Soothe Yourself

2009-11-11T09:30:00.000-08:00

I've talked to quite a few people in the last few weeks who are feeling kind of funky (ranging anywhere from "got a bit of the blues" to "completely overwhelmed".) With the holiday season on its way, and daily reminders of swine flu and "the economy" still dominating the papers and internet, it can be a challenge to trust that All Is Well. If you're dealing with a chronic health condition on top of all this "background noise", some days it can seem like feeling good (emotionally OR physically) is next to impossible! It's during times like these that many of us are tempted to turn to self-destructive behaviours (like drinking too much alcohol, overeating, or picking fights with loved ones) as ways to cope with everything life has thrown our way. While these actions may make you feel better for a short while, in the end you're likely to end up regretting these choices. The good news is there are a lot of other ways to soothe yourself that will help you start to feel better immediately, and will continue to support your mental, emotional, and physical health over the long term.

If you're anything like me, part of the problem is that once you get into a funk, the more creative part of your brain seems to shut down, and it's difficult to think of anything useful to do to help yourself. That's why I keep a handy list of ideas around to pull out when I need a boost! Here (in no particular order) are some of my favourite self-supportive soothing activities:

Music: Music is such a powerful mood booster. It's so easy to put some on and it's an almost instant soother. Make a playlist of your favourite musical soothers on your Ipod or computer (I like playlist.com) for some "touch of a button" relief!

Hobbies: When you're feeling down is probably not the time to go looking for a new hobby; I've found a lot of comfort in engaging in a familiar one. Knitting, playing a musical instrument, making bread, painting, or building models are all examples of hobbies that can be extremely soothing to the spirit. As an added bonus, you get the satisfaction of creating something!

Nature: Connecting with the natural world seems to have magical restorative powers for most people. Watch the birds at the feeder or birdbath, dig around in the garden, or go for a hike in the woods.

Find something to laugh about: We've all heard the saying "laughter is the best medicine", and for good reason! I have a stash of go-to movies to pull out when I need a good dose of silliness (50 First Dates, When Harry Met Sally, Just Like Heaven, School of Rock, and the Steve Martin/Lily Tomlin classic, All of Me). Humorous books and stand-up comedy DVDs by comedians who tickle your funny bone are other excellent choices for some "laughter therapy".

Water: A good long hot bath or shower is at the top of my list when I need a pick-me-up!

Hot beverages: Curling up with a hot cup of coffee, tea or hot cocoa is something you can take a few minutes to do even in the midst of one of those "crazy" days. If you tend to overdo it with caffeine, an herbal tea might be the best option for you.

Soothing scents: Light some scented candles, or fill your house with a seasonal spicy scent by simmering some cinnamon sticks and orange rind on the stove. If you enjoy using essential oils, lavender, lemon, ylang ylang and rose are all calming scents (putting them in a diffuser is great if you have one). There are some creative "recipes" for using essential oils to soothe yourself here.

Move Your Body: When you're feeling blue or overwhelmed, you're less likely to feel like moving your body; ironically this is probably the time when it would benefit you the most! Try a short walk or a few minutes on the yoga mat. You may find that once you start moving you find yourself enjoying it, and end up doing more than you planned.

Inspirational videos or CDs: I have a stack of Abraham-Hicks CDs that I keep around to put on when I feel like I'm starting to "lose it". If I'm working on the computer, I may jump over to YouTube and watch one of their videos for a quick pick-me-up. This works great for me, but for my husband would be a form of self-torture (grin). If Abe's not your thing, find something else that inspires you and remember to pull it out when you need it!

Reading: Getting lost in a good book is a self-soothing strategy I've used since early childhood. Fortunately there are so many books coming out these days that there will always be something new and exciting to check out, no matter what your favourite genre.

Take a nap: Sometimes a little extra rest is all you really need to feel well-balanced again. If you know you've been pushing yourself too hard, tuck yourself into bed for a mid-afternoon nap. If you can't do this during the work week, treat yourself on the weekend. I guarantee you life will seem rosier when you wake up!

Snuggle someone: Go find a kid or a pet to cuddle up with.

Be a kid: Remember all those fun games you used to play as a kid? They're still fun now. If you're all alone, try pattern puzzle games like Rush Hour, or a game of solitaire (play it with real cards, not on the computer; learn dozens of new solitaire games here). If you've got a playing partner or two handy, break out the Yahtzee, Backgammon, Sorry and Clue.

Keep up the daily tapping! You knew I had to mention it eventually...I just had to include tapping on a list of self-supportive soothing activities! If you missed my last post, go check it out for a list of fun and easy daily tapping suggestions.

For a maximum dose of self-soothing, pull out all the stops and combine a few of these into an Ultimate Self-Soothing Experience. Take a hot bath with essential oils while listening to music and reading a funny book, take a walk on a nature trail while listening to an inspirational talk on your Ipod, or snuggle up on the couch with a kid and a dog while watching a funny movie and sipping hot cocoa.

I hope this list inspires you to find some new and creative ways to find your "feel good" again. If you have a favourite self-soothing activity I haven't mentioned, please share it with us!

What Do Apples and Tapping Have in Common?

2009-10-22T08:09:00.001-07:00

We've all heard the saying "an apple a day keeps the doctor away." A similar sentiment would be appropriate for tapping! I encourage all of my clients to make tapping a part of their daily life and I am committed to tapping every day myself.

I know it can feel like a daily tapping practice is just one more thing to do when you already have a long list of "things I should do every day, but never seem to make the time for." The great thing about tapping is that you can do it in really small windows of time - as little as 1-2 minutes - making it a relatively easy commitment. Whether or not you're working with an EFT practitioner, a daily tapping habit is an empowering way to support yourself. If you are dealing with a chronic health issue such as physical pain or trying to lose weight, a daily tapping practice is one of the best ways I know to enhance your feelings of emotional AND physical well-being.

Daily tapping doesn't have to be complicated OR time-consuming. In fact, I think it should definitely be FUN and EASY- that way you are much more likely to do it. Here are a few easy ways to make tapping part of your daily life:

1. Tap to music
One of the great things about tapping to music is that it can help you "tap into" a desired state. If you want to feel more relaxed, put on some relaxing music and tap. If you want to feel energized, choose a song that makes you feel like dancing in the streets! Simply choose an appropriate tune and tap through the points while listening.

This is one of my personal favourites; it's a beautiful, uplifting song with a rhythm that's perfect for tapping along to!

2. Tap along to a video or script
If you are one of the many people I know who feel like they "don't know what to say" when tapping, scripts and videos can be a great way to do some tapping that's a bit more structured without having to worry about coming up with "the right words."

One of the most popular EFT videos on YouTube (and one that I've enjoyed using myself) is Brad Yates' Tap O' the Mornin'. It's an inspiring way to start your day!

Many EFT practitioners offer free e-books that include tapping scripts. My own Tapping into Body Joy e-book contains several scripts that are specifically for people working on physical health and body issues. If you don't have a copy yet, you can download it by clicking on the cover photo in the sidebar.

3. Combine tapping with your gratitude or appreciation practice
A daily gratitude practice -whether writing in a gratitude journal or sitting and focusing on appreciating the good things in your life - has become a popular ritual. You can easily combine this practice with tapping. Tap on the points while you state each item on your list for which you're thankful.

4. Walk n' tap
You can easily tap while out walking - whether it's an exercise walk or a stroll with the dog, walking and tapping is a great combination. If you're walking in a remote area, you can tap through all the points as usual. If you're in a busier area and want to be more discreet, simply use the finger points instead.

Most of these techniques are not designed to address core issues or clear deep blocks, but rather to "prime" the energy system and keep the body's subtle energies moving freely. As you tap while accessing states of relaxation, appreciation or exhilaration, it will help to reinforce these states within your energy system.

You may also find that some of the "deeper" issues may surface while using these simple techniques. If you don't feel comfortable tapping on them right away, making note of them in a tapping journal is a great way to make sure these issues don't get forgotten. After using some of these fun and easy approaches to daily tapping, you may be surprised to find that soon you'll be whizzing through several rounds of more traditional EFT all on your own without giving it a second thought!

Do you have a favourite fun & easy tapping ritual? If so, I'd love to hear about it!

Image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

Is an "Either/Or" Standing Between You and Perfect Health?

2009-10-01T08:36:00.000-07:00

Recently, my friend and fellow EFTer Paul Zelizer discussed in one of his blog posts how he worked through an issue he had about choosing integrity over money. These types of "either/or" beliefs (in this case, "I can have integrity OR money, but not both) are prevalent in our thinking, even though a lot of the time we're not even aware of it. This is just as true when it comes to health issues as it is with our finances. For one reason or another, at some point in our lives, we managed to convince ourselves that we had to choose between two things we really want (often this is at a subconscious level). After all, most of us have been told repeatedly that we can't have our cake and eat it, too! So, we believe we have to choose one need over the other, and in the end, whichever need feels safer and more comfortable wins.

Spotting an "Either/Or" Belief
Unearthing an "either/or" may require you to be uncomfortably honest with yourself. Ask yourself what the drawbacks would be to attaining your perfect weight or recovering completely from your illness. You may hear yourself saying something like:

"If I lose the weight, my mom will be too jealous of me"

"As long as I'm fat, I can be sure people really like me for who I am and not how I look"

"As long as I'm sick, I have a convenient excuse for getting out of doing work I dislike"

"My chronic pain gives me permission not to live up to other people's (or my own) expectations"

"My illness guarantees that I'll get lots of attention from my family and friends"

In each case, there is an unconscious "either/or" lurking behind these statements.

-Either I can be thin, or I can feel loved and supported

-Either I can be fat, or I will feel insecure about whether I am being accepted for who I really am

-Either I can be sick, or I will have to do work I dislike

-Either I can be in pain, or I will be expected to be perfect

-Either I can be sick, or I can be lonely and unloved

Once you've detected an "either/or" belief, I highly recommend using Dr Pat Carrington's "Choices" method to deal with it. This is a wonderful technique that will allow you to affirm that you can choose BOTH of the things you desire. Some examples of setups using the choices method would be:

"Even though I'm scared mom will be too jealous if I lose the weight, I choose to be at my ideal weight and feel completely loved and supported"

"Even though I'm afraid I will have to go back to a job I hate if I get over this illness, I choose to be completely healthy and do work I love"

Once you have put together a Choices statement that feels really good to you, I suggest tapping on it several times per day. A more detailed explanation of how to use the Choices method can be found here.

Remember, as one of my favourite teachers, Abraham, says: "You are supposed to get EVERYTHING you want!" You don't need to settle for either/or - choose BOTH.

Image by Andy Newson, courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

6 Reasons to Keep a Tapping Journal

2009-09-10T08:04:00.000-07:00

The more I use EFT, the more I'm convinced that it's important to keep a written record of your tapping experiences. Certainly, not every single "tap session" needs to be noted. Little things like tapping when you've burned your finger on the stove, or can't find the car keys, probably don't need to be written down (unless either of these is a routine occurrence - then it might be related to a core issue, and worth looking at in closer detail!) I do think it's enormously valuable to keep detailed notes about tapping sessions on the "big issues" you're working on - the chronic ones like an ongoing health challenge.

Here are six different ways that keeping a tapping journal can lead to more effective and powerful EFT sessions:

1. Keep track of issues and incidents you want to tap on. This could include your Personal Peace Procedure list, or notes on different aspects of a particular issue (like chronic back pain) that you want to explore in your tapping. Keeping these all jotted down in one place means you won't have to waste time at the start of your EFT session wondering what to tap on!

2. Record issues and aspects you've tapped on - note whether you did the work on your own or with a practitioner or tapping buddy. Often, even if you've tapped on something on your own, it may be worth exploring again with a tapping partner - they can help you see aspects you may have missed.

3. Document changes in intensity levels (0-10 "SUDS" score) before and after tapping. This allows you to get a clear picture of how effective your tapping is. This is particularly important when you're working on your own - sometimes EFT works so well that you can "forget" that the issue that is now a zero used to be a ten!

4. Write down new aspects, incidents and insights that surface during your tapping sessions. These will come in handy for future tapping sessions! It's important to note them down ASAP so you don't forget about them later. These notes may help you see themes that will allow you to detect a core issue.

5. Record "homework assignments" and/or tapping phrases suggested by your EFT practitioner or tapping buddy. You can also record anything new that comes up while you're doing your homework assignments, to discuss with your practitioner or tapping partner during your next session.

6. Note shifts in perception/experience I ask clients to pay attention to what happens in their life related to the issue we've been tapping on. Sometimes things shift in such a subtle way that if you're not paying attention, you don't notice the change! So, for example, if you've been working on a weight issue, notice any ways that your experiences with your body and/or food feel different to you.

Keeping a tapping journal has been tremendously useful for me personally, and I now encourage all of my clients to keep one, too! I hope you'll consider starting your own tapping journal to enhance your EFT sessions.

Image by Suat Eman, courtesy of freedigalphotos.net

Are You Ready to Stop Struggling with Your Symptoms?

2009-08-06T08:00:00.000-07:00

Today's post was written by my friend and fellow EFT Practitioner, Paul Zelizer. Like me, Paul has some personal experience dealing with challenging physical symptoms and I appreciate him agreeing to share his wisdom with us here!

Like many people, when I first came to EFT, my life was far from peaceful. I was going through a separation, wasn't sleeping well, and had a range of physical symptoms that the medical system didn't know what to do with. I tried many things to get rid of these problems and symptoms. None of them worked very well.

Recently, I've had a number of new clients who have come with a range of physical symptoms. They too have tried western medicine, acupuncture, bodywork, chiropractic, and energy healers. One man came to me after trying 4 other EFT therapists with no success. The common theme that all these healers have shared is trying to get rid of the problem.

These past few weeks, I have been reminded again of the wisdom of the body. Most times our symptoms are the body using the language it knows to try and tell us something. Trying to get rid of the problem without understanding the healing message of the body is like removing the brakes on your car when you hear a metallic sound. It's not a good lasting solution to the problem.

As we have used EFT to open to the core issue behind the problem, clients have heard the message that were behind the sinus headaches (stuck grief about a death of a loved one) and the chronic back pain that wouldn't respond to any other treatment (pain free for weeks now). It been a reminder of using EFT with the body instead of focusing on "getting rid of".

Here's how you can use EFT in this way:

The Problem:

KC: Even though I just want to get rid of this issue I have, I love and accept myself anyway.
KC: Even though I wish I had a magic wand that would just make it go away, I am willing to treat myself with kindness and compassion.
KC: Even though I thought EFT would just take this problem away and it hasn't yet, I'm open to the possibility of using EFT with a little different focus.
EB: This issue hasn't completely gone away yet.
SE: I wish this problem would just leave.
UE: I am REALLY tired of this problem.
UN: I wish I could just wave a magic EFT wand and POOF! it would be gone.
CH: I wonder if it could be true that maybe my body is trying to tell me something with this issue.
CB: I thought EFT is supposed to deliver immediate results.
UA: I wonder what might happen if I could listen to what my body is saying just a little more.

The Solution:

KC: Even though in the past I just wanted to get rid of my problems, I'm willing to treat myself with kindness and compassion anyway.
KC: Even though I haven't listened to my body in the past, I'm open to listening a little more now.
KC: Even though I thought EFT would just take this problem away and it hasn't yet, I'm curious about what will happen as I start to listen to my body and open to the possibility of using EFT with a little different focus.
EB: I haven't yet seen the all results I would like with EFT.
SE: I'm curious, what if I could learn to listen to my body a little more.
UE: Could my body help me learn more about what is causing my issues?
UN: I'm choosing to listen to my body a little more.
CH: It would be nice to work a little more closely with my body on this issue.
CB: I'm starting to see that my body can help me find the healing I'm looking for.
UA: I'm excited to explore how my body and I can work together for healing!

In learning the mechanics of EFT, sometimes we forget to listen deeply. I hope that this tapping sequence can help you reconnect with the body's wisdom and deepen your ability to find the core issues underneath the symptoms. These past few weeks have been a powerful reminder about what happens when we do this.

Paul Zelizer is an EFT and Law of Attraction coach with an international practice. He is the author of Money Makeover 2.0: 5 Steps to Financial Well-being in Today's Economy and The 10 Biggest EFT Mistakes and What to Do About Them. He specializes in helping clients increase abundance as well as clear away chronic physical conditions. Learn more about Paul's work at successfuleft.com.

Image by Andy Newson, courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

The Courage to Let Go and Leap Forward

2009-07-03T07:24:00.000-07:00

After posting my thoughts about building a Positive Support Network, I received a number of comments (via Facebook, Twitter, and private email) about how Step 1 (Be willing to release yourself from toxic environments and people in your life) is much easier said than done!

It's almost amusing how much most of us resist letting go of the things that aren't working in our lives (and I'm definitely referring to myself here, too!) What's familiar feels comfortable and safe to us, even if we don't like it. Even if we aren't willing to admit it, we know that we need to let go of certain people, habits, commitments, possessions (and maybe even the job we've hated forever) if we are going to move in the direction of our dreams. This is just as true whether the dream is a successful career or a strong and healthy body.

Letting go of what's no longer serving us is an act of courage and trust - the courage to honour our true needs and desires, and the trust that by releasing what we no longer need, we are creating space for our heart's desires to move into our lives.

EFT is a wonderful tool to help us through this process of letting go. Here is a tapping script to get you started (as usual, feel free to adapt the wording in any way that feels right for you):

Karate Chop (Setup):
Even though I've been denying my own needs and desires for a long time, I love and accept myself anyway.
Even though I always say YES when I really mean NO, I forgive myself for not being able to speak my own truth.
Even though it feels scary to let go of things, I'm willing to trust my own instincts about what I no longer need in my life.
Even though I always do what other people think I should do, instead of listening to my heart, I'm open to the idea that I have the courage to follow my heart now.

Eyebrow: I've always been a people pleaser
Side of Eye: It's selfish to ask for what I want
Under Eye: What if I start saying "NO" and no one likes me anymore?
Under Nose: I'm afraid to ask for what I want
Chin: I'm afraid to let go of things
Collarbone: What if I let go and I have nothing left?
Under Arm: I worry about what everyone else thinks
Top of Head: I've never been good at setting boundaries

Eyebrow: Maybe it's safe for me to let go of a few things
Side of Eye: I'm ready for a change anyway
Under Eye: No one else can know what's right for me
Under Nose: It's safe for me to speak up for myself
Chin: I can say "NO" and still be kind and loving
Collarbone: I can easily release things I no longer need
Under Arm: It's safe for me to honour my own needs and desires
Top of Head: I give myself permission to be true to my Authentic Self

Recommended Resource:
Cheryl Richardson's Stand Up For Your Life has many useful suggestions and exercises for helping you to let go of what you no longer need in your life with love and grace.

What is it time for you to let go of?

Image by Federico Stevanin, courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

Building a Positive Support Network

2009-06-17T07:12:00.000-07:00

"We need to surround ourselves with encouraging believers who see through our limiting beliefs to the huge powerful souls that we are." ~Christine Kane

A few weeks ago, I was working through a "big issue" of mine with a friend and fellow EFT practitioner. At the time I was feeling completely overwhelmed (okay, I admit it, I was in a full-on Freak Out mode). Partway through our session together, she asked me, "Are you getting the support you need right now?" Ummm. Not So Much. And I know I'm not the only one! Many of us, when we are going through difficult times, have a tendency to withdraw into our own little Private Hell and cut ourselves off from the world around us. We may feel too embarrassed or ashamed to ask for help. We may feel like we don't want to burden our friends or family with our problems. We may be afraid that if we ask for help, no one will give it to us.

We all need to feel supported in our lives! Having a well-developed Positive Support Network can make a huge difference in anyone's life; when you're dealing with a chronic health issue, I think it's even more important. If you've had a problem for a long time, it can seem like there is nothing and no one that could possibly give you the help or support you need. Building a Positive Support Network during times when you feel good means that you will know where to turn during times when you are feeling overwhelmed, emotionally drained, or physically depleted.

How to Build Your Positive Support Network:

Step 1:
Be willing to release yourself from toxic environments and people in your life.
This includes "support groups" of any kind that continually focus on problems rather than solutions. You know the ones I mean - that weight loss group where everyone complains about how IMPOSSIBLE it is to lose weight, or the chronic pain group where everyone's focused on the daily misery of their life.

It can be hard to let go of what's familiar, but moving forward means letting go of things that are no longer serving you. This allows space for things that *do* serve you to move into your life!

Step 2:
Intentionally build a multi-faceted Positive Support Network. A well-developed network will provide you with the people, groups, websites, books and other resources you need to THRIVE, no matter what challenges you are facing with your body right now. It should include at least one key support from each of the following areas:

Physical Support:
-physically nurturing practices (maybe it's time to try out that yoga class!)

-someone to help with any physically challenging tasks - this could be either a friend, family member or professional - someone who can be available to help with housecleaning, groceries, cooking, or any physical tasks. You might need this type of support on a regular or on-call basis.

Emotional Support:
-friends and family who can offer positive encouragement when you're feeling down

-a tapping buddy (find one at the Tapping Buddies website)

-support groups, either in-person or online, specific to your physical health issue (select these CAREFULLY! A *good* support group is one in which the members can relate to your experience, but not wallow in your misery with you. One where people can encourage and uplift each other, and focus on finding solutions to challenges other members are facing.)

-professional support (a therapist, counselor, coach or EFT practitioner) - a professional support person can be immensely valuable in helping you to move forward when you're feeling "stuck" or discouraged.

Spiritual Support:
-a local church or other organized spiritual community

-an online group or forum

-at least one friend or group you can connect with regularly about a shared passion; whatever it is that really feeds your soul, whether that's knitting (check out a local knitting circle) or astronomy (find a club in your area!)

I'm sure there are many other possibilities for your network that I haven't included here; hopefully this list will stimulate your creativity and get you off to a great start!

I have a brand new resource you may want to consider adding to your Positive Support Network. I've just started a Body Joy group on Facebook, to provide support to anyone who is dealing with chronic pain, chronic health, or weight issues. I know this is going to be an amazing community filled with caring, supportive, and resourceful people, so I hope you'll consider joining us! If you're having trouble building your Positive Support Network, I'm sure we can give you some great ideas.

image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

Getting to the Heart of the Matter: Core Beliefs that Are Keeping the Weight On

2009-06-04T08:42:00.000-07:00

In my last post, I discussed strategies for letting go of limiting beliefs about weight loss. There are MANY types of limiting beliefs you can have on just about any subject. While I do believe there is value in eliminating any limiting beliefs you can identify (such as "it's hard to lose weight", "I gain weight just by looking at food"), the deepest and most powerful transformations usually come from identifying and releasing core beliefs.
Core Beliefs are deeply held beliefs that run to the core of your sense of who you are. They can be positive or negative, and held at either a conscious or subconscious level. Some examples of limiting core beliefs related to weight that come up frequently with clients are:

-I don't deserve to be thin (I'm not good enough/not worthy/unlovable)

-I'm afraid to succeed because I don't know who I'll be without this extra weight

-I want to know I am valued for who I am and not what I look like

-Skinny people are weak

-My mother/sister/friend will be too jealous of me if I lose the weight

-It's not safe for me to be sexually attractive

You might find some of these statements resonate with you, and if they do, it's certainly worthwhile to spend some time tapping on them. Don't assume you are done with locating core beliefs related to your weight just because you have tapped on some of these statements, though! You may find as you tap that specific events come to mind that helped you to form these beliefs, and it's a good idea to spend some time tapping on those specific events until there's no intensity left around them. It's likely there will also be some other areas you need to explore to get to the heart of your core beliefs.

The following statements can help you to detect further limiting core beliefs:

It's not safe for me to lose this weight because....

If I lost the weight, it would mean that...

If I wasn't putting all my energy into my weight issues, I might have to deal with...

The downside of losing this weight would be...

Repeat each statement out loud, then listen closely for whatever comes up. You may be surprised at what spontaneously pops out of your mouth. It may seem like something ridiculous or trivial. It's important not to dismiss anything that occurs to you when using these statements. In my experience, it's sometimes the things that seem "trivial" which can lead to the biggest breakthroughs and "aha's"!

As I mentioned in my previous post, it can be difficult to identify your own limiting beliefs. This can be especially true of core beliefs that are such a big part of who we think we are. I highly recommend finding someone to partner with to do this work. If you are not able to work with an EFT practitioner, you might want to check out the Tapping Buddies site to find another EFTer who is interested in forming a mutually supportive partnership.

I would love to hear about any big "aha's" you get while doing this work!

This is the fourth post in a series about Using EFT for Weight Loss. Earlier posts can be found here:

Using EFT for Weight Loss: 3 Key Areas to Address
Tuning in To Your Food Vibration
Letting Go of Limiting Beliefs About Weight Loss

Image by Maggie Smith, courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

Letting Go of Limiting Beliefs About Weight Loss

2009-05-13T07:58:00.000-07:00

"Anytime you run into a wall or a closed door, the first place to try to open it is in your own mind." ~Source Unknown

If you did the Food Vibration Diary exercise I described last week, it's likely you ran into a lot of "walls and closed doors" about losing weight. These are all the beliefs about why losing weight is such an impossible and/or unpleasant task for you. Many others might have surfaced while you were tapping on statements related to your Food Vibration (you did do the tapping part of the exercise, right? If not, I recommend going back and taking some time to work through it before moving on to the rest of this post).

If you haven't done so already, it's a great idea to start noticing these beliefs as they come up throughout your day. It can be difficult to identify your own limiting beliefs, because you're so sure your beliefs are true that they are usually quite unconscious; you can't even see that they are there and that you can question them. This is one reason why it can be so helpful to do this work with some type of support person you trust (whether it's a friend or a professional), because they can more easily see where you are limiting yourself.

One way I have found helpful to spot my own limiting beliefs is to notice what I'm thinking when I don't feel good emotionally (i.e. angry, frustrated, discouraged). As Abraham continually reminds us, the Truth of Who We Really Are feels GREAT! So when we are feeling negative emotion, it's because we are believing a thought that isn't true (a.k.a. a Limiting Belief)

I made a list of some common Limiting Beliefs about weight loss here. Remember, if it feels bad when you think it, it's a Limiting Belief. I recommend writing these Limiting Beliefs down as soon as you spot them (they're slippery, so they'll try to go into hiding again if you don't corral them somehow!)

What to Do Once You've Spotted a Limiting Belief:

Let's take a common Limiting Belief about weight loss: "It's really hard to lose weight."

This statement APPEARS to be true because many people can find plenty of evidence to support it in their experience. The thing is that you are always looking for evidence to support your beliefs, and so you will selectively perceive only the data that reinforces your current beliefs. And, just to keep things interesting, the belief WILL be "true" for you as long as you believe it! So, how do you start to shake loose of a Limiting Belief that is firmly entrenched?

A good first step is to ask yourself "Where did I get this belief?" A belief is just a story we made up that we decided is true; we made up the belief based on our life experiences (or more accurately, our perceptions of our experiences). Write down any and all SPECIFIC incidents you can think of, including things people have said to you in the past, that reinforced your Limiting Belief. This might include specific details about how hard you worked to lose weight in the past and what type of results you got. It might include the fact that your mother has told you, ever since you can remember, that losing weight is a struggle for every woman in your family, that's just the way it is!

Once you have a list of SPECIFICS, you can start to tap through them one at a time. You may find that some of them go down to a zero intensity fairly quickly, and others seem to be a bit more unwilling to budge. That's okay. The stubborn ones often give you some really good clues as to where you need to look next to excavate a Limiting Belief once and for all.

Another little trick I like to use when I'm having trouble letting go of a Limiting Belief is to "Ask for Evidence". This is a really simple technique that often works marvelously well! All you do is decide what it is that you WANT to believe, and ask The Universe (or God, Source, or whatever feels good to you) to show you evidence that what you WANT to believe is true.

I find it most powerful to use this in a EFT setup statement as follows:

"Even though I've always believed that it's really hard to lose weight, I ask the Universe to show me evidence that losing weight can be accomplished with joy and ease."

Then, tap:
-one round on the Limiting Belief ("It's really hard to lose weight")
-one round on the new, desired belief ("Losing weight can be accomplished with joy and ease")
-a third round alternating the Limiting Belief and the desired belief (make sure to finish with the DESIRED belief!)

You may be pleasantly surprised to see how accommodating the Universe can be once you ask to see evidence of what you want. To add even more power to this exercise, make sure to write down any evidence you see that your desired belief is true. Now, whenever the old, limiting belief rears its head, you have plenty of documentation to the contrary, and you can easily send him on his way!

This is the third post in a series about Using EFT for Weight Loss. Earlier posts can be found here:

Using EFT for Weight Loss: 3 Key Areas to Address
Tuning in To Your Food Vibration

image by Federico Stevanin, courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

Tuning in to Your Food Vibration

2009-05-05T08:20:00.000-07:00

"You are not a physical human that weighs more than you want to weigh. You are a vibrational being who is upstream more often that you want to be upstream." ~Abraham-Hicks

In my last post I discussed several different areas where you could be "upstream" (feeling resistance/negative emotion) when trying to lose weight. I also gave a couple of suggestions for how you could start to shift your emotions towards your body (here and here).

Now it's time to look a bit more closely at your relationship with food. What are your dominant thoughts, feelings and emotions about food? These all contribute to your overall Food Vibration.

It's easy to slip into a negative vibration about food. Our society is extremely judgmental about food, and there are a lot of people that have very strong opinions about what we "should" and "shouldn't" eat. We have lists of "good foods" and "bad foods". We are bombarded with messages from the media and "experts" about what foods are healthy and which ones aren't. Much of this advice is conflicting, which only adds to the confusion. We are constantly making judgments about food, then making judgments about ourselves based on how well we are able to "measure up" against some ideal dietary pattern.

The truth is that food is not "good" or "bad", it just IS. How you feel about what you eat is far more important than what you're actually eating. It is the thoughts, feelings, and emotions you have about food that determine the "results" you get from eating. As a good friend of mine likes to say, "It's not the action, it's the energy behind it." Stated another way, it's not about the energy (calories) you are putting in your body, it's about the energy (vibration) you are flowing about the foods you are putting in your body.

Eating is meant to be a pleasurable, joyful experience. Eating in a state of love, joy, and appreciation allows you to be guided to the perfect foods for your body, and allows your body to perfectly use the food you feed it. Unfortunately, many people are often eating in a less-than-joyful state. Much of the time, emotions of guilt, shame, anxiety, fear, anger or resentment may be present.

Paying attention to your dominant emotions around food and eating may feel kind of scary. It's important to identify what you're feeling, though, because as long as you're trying to deny your emotions, you can't successfully move through them and release them.

To get more in touch with your current Food Vibration, I recommend keeping a "Food Vibration Diary" for 3-5 days. Keep track of the time of day, what you ate, your dominant emotions at the time, and any specific thoughts about what you ate or your eating behaviour. It's also helpful to track any random thoughts you have about food and eating throughout the day, too. (I've made a daily worksheet you can print out here.)

While you're doing this exercise, please don't try to force yourself out of whatever emotions you're feeling. And please don't "beat yourself up" for having these feelings. The point is to simply be honest with yourself about the thoughts and feelings you are currently experiencing around food, and to make note of them.

Once you have tracked your Food Vibration for about 3 days (or however long feels good to you), review it and notice what your dominant thoughts and feelings are. With this information, you will be able to write some powerful setup statements for tapping on.

Some examples might be:

"Even though I feel resentful that I have to use skim milk in my coffee so I can lose weight and all my skinny friends get to enjoy cream in their coffee, I love and accept myself anyway."

"Even though I feel guilty and 'not good enough' because I don't eat enough fruits and vegetables, I am ready to honour and respect my own food preferences."

"Even though I'm convinced I hate everything that is supposed to be 'good for me', I'm open to the idea that there are many foods I can enjoy that will nourish my body perfectly."

"Even though I am furious at myself whenever I eat donuts or candy, I'm open to the idea that I can choose to love myself no matter what I eat or don't eat."

This is not an exercise to be rushed through. Spending some quality time with your Food Vibration Diary may lead you to some in-depth insights into limiting core beliefs waiting to be released. The end result (a peaceful relationship with food) will be more than worth your effort!

I would love to hear about any insights you received from doing this exercise if you are open to sharing them.

Image by Suat Eman, courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

Using EFT for Weight Loss: 3 Key Areas to Address

2009-04-20T07:51:00.001-07:00

Today's post is the first in a series that I'll be doing on EFT & Weight Loss over the next few weeks.
EFT can be an incredibly effective tool to help with weight loss. In fact, as a former dietitian and personal trainer, I am really excited about EFT's potential to help people lose weight permanently without dieting or struggle! Oftentimes, EFT is used on a rather superficial level to help eliminate food cravings. While this can certainly be a useful start to addressing weight issues, it is necessary to go beyond surface issues to reach the full potential of what is possible with this technique. To maximize EFT's effectiveness, I recommend that three specific areas be addressed:

1. Your relationship with your body and with food

If you have struggled for years to lose weight, it's likely that your feelings towards both your body and food are less than joyful. You may have feelings of guilt and shame about your physical appearance and/or your eating habits. You may feel angry that your body seems to gain weight easily while other people's bodies stay slim effortlessly. Food may seem like the enemy, or it may seem like your only friend, one that you aren't willing to give up in order to lose the weight. EFT should be applied directly to each of these issues. A good place to start might be the Make Peace with Your Body and Body Appreciation tapping scripts I posted a few weeks ago.

2. Limiting beliefs around losing weight

If you've been trying to lose weight for a long time, it's likely that you've developed a lot of limiting beliefs around weight loss. These could include:
-It's really hard to lose weight
-It's always going to be a struggle
-I have to deprive myself
-I have to do a lot of unpleasant exercise
-I can't eat the foods I enjoy
-I have to eat foods I don't like
-I have a slow metabolism
-Everyone in my family is fat, that's just the way it is

These beliefs may all feel incredibly true to you, however, they are only as true as you choose for them to be. Using EFT, it is possible to release these limiting beliefs (and any others you may have come up with) so that losing weight can be accomplished with joy and ease.

3. Core beliefs underlying resistance to weight loss

This is the area that is critical to address if weight loss is to be permanent: The underlying emotional reasons why you are carrying the extra weight in the first place. These reasons are not always obvious and may require some detective work! Some of these issues may be very intense and complex; this is where the assistance of a skilled EFT practitioner can be extremely invaluable. Some of the core beliefs that have come up when I have been working with clients include:
-Skinny people are weak
-I deserve to suffer (because if I don't ______ will happen)
-I'm afraid of being sexually attractive
-I don't want people to like me just for being thin, how will I know they like me for ME?
-My mom/husband/best friend will be angry/jealous if I lose the weight
-What if I still can't get what I want even after I'm thin?

As the above examples illustrate, the extra weight you're carrying is really a form of self-protection. A good question to ask yourself to help find core beliefs is "Why isn't it safe for me to lose this weight?"

In the next few weeks, I will be exploring each of these areas in more detail. If you have questions about how to best use EFT for weight loss, please let me know, and I'll do my best to address them throughout this series!

Image by Michal Marcol, courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

Unwrapping the Gift of Illness

2009-04-14T08:49:00.000-07:00

"It requires the most inspiring kind of courage to accept that what you have and where you are is good." ~Mama Gena

I received this quote in my inbox this morning, and it struck me how very true this statement is with regards to illness. It's natural to perceive any form of illness or dis-ease as something "bad", something to get upset about. Family, friends and neighbours sympathize with us; "Oh, I'm so sorry this happened to you, what a shame. You don't deserve this."

What if, instead of being a random "punishment", illness was actually a gift? What if, as the quote above suggests, "what you have (illness) and where you are is good?" You might be shaking your head and thinking, "If this is gift, it's definitely not one I want to keep. It's the kind I want to shove under the bed with that purple and orange sweater Aunt Edna knit me, and the Chia pet my brother gave me for my 12th birthday."

I totally understand. When I was first diagnosed with fibromyalgia, I would have wanted to smack anyone who suggested that this disease was, in any way, shape, or form, a gift. From where I'm standing now, fifteen years later, I can see that it most definitely was a blessing in disguise. I received my fibromyalgia diagnosis when I was in graduate school. At that time in my life, I was completely stressed out, and definitely feeling like a square peg trying to shove itself into a round hole. I had invested a lot of time and energy into pursuing a career that I now understood at some level was a horrible fit for my natural talents and temperament. The problem was that I didn't want to admit to myself that I had made a mistake, so I kept trying to ignore my instincts, and continued to press forward along this path I had chosen. I believe the fibromyalgia showed up to try and get my attention in a really, really BIG way, since I'd been doing my best to ignore all the smaller, more subtle messages (physical, emotional, and spiritual) I was getting. The arrival of fibromyalgia into my life was the beginning of me truly getting to know myself; who I really was and what I was really here for. I'm incredibly stubborn, so it took me an entire decade after my diagnosis to formally walk away from the career I hated and claim my right to do something that respected my temperament and totally fulfilled me on every level. If I hadn't had the fibromyalgia (and a variety of other dis-ease symptoms) to prod me along, I'm not sure I would ever have had the courage to walk away. I was so physically, emotionally and spiritually drained by the time I left my former career, that there really wasn't anything else I could have done but leave, if I had any hope of maintaining my sanity.

So, if you're ready, you can summon up all your courage, and start to ask yourself some questions about why this illness you've been fighting with might be a gift in disguise. How might it be a form of self-protection, what might it be asking you to remember about yourself? What parts of yourself have you been trying to deny or suppress? How might "what you have and where you are" be good after all?

The answers to these questions can provide some very useful material to tap on. This can be some extremely intense work, and it might not be something you want to do all on your own. It can help to have someone - a close friend, tapping buddy or EFT Practitioner - to guide you along in these explorations.

The answers you are seeking are already inside you. You can trust that letting them out into the light of day will only allow you to become more fully Yourself.

image by Suat Eman, courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

Are You Merely Maintaining or Actively Nurturing Your Body?

2009-04-06T09:33:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago I asked my followers on Twitter what they were doing to appreciate their bodies that day. All of the responses I got focused on "eating right" and exercising. It's engrained in our culture that the way we "take care of" our body is to feed it properly and make sure to exercise it. These are definitely important aspects of self-care, but the attitude with which we perform these activities is just as important as the activities themselves. And there is much more to nurturing our bodies than eating and exercise.

I know many people that "eat healthy" and exercise daily, but they do so with feelings of guilt, resentment, or fear towards their bodies. They are doing what they are "supposed" to do, and demanding that their bodies behave themselves because they are "taking care of them properly". It is particularly easy to slip into negative attitudes towards caring for your body if you are trying to lose weight or dealing with a chronic health issue that already seems to demand so much from you physically and emotionally.

Actively nurturing your body is about much more than "going through the motions" of maintenance. The desire to actively nurture your body flows from a feeling of deep love and appreciation for your body. It has an energy of "I want to do this for my body because I respect and honour it" rather than "I need to do this, to try and make my body do what I want it to". It is making a conscious choice to flow loving energy towards your body, even if every part of your body isn't exactly how you want it to be right now.

If you are feeling resistant to the idea of cultivating a more nurturing attitude towards your body, try a few rounds of EFT addressing your feelings towards this topic. Here is a short script to help you get started; feel free to substitute your own words wherever you feel inspired to do so.

Karate chop (setup):
Even though I don't always listen to my body's needs, I love and accept myself anyway
Even though I don't feel like nurturing my body, because I'm not happy with it the way it is right now, I deeply and completely love and accept myself
Even though I have all this resistance to the idea of actively nurturing my body, I love and accept myself
And I'm open to the idea that my body is worthy of being deeply nurtured and supported, in all sorts of wonderful ways

Eyebrow: I don't want to nurture my body
Side of Eye: I don't have time to nurture my body
Under Eye: My body doesn't deserve to be nurtured
Under Nose: At least that's been my story so far
Chin: I'm willing to consider the idea
Collarbone: That it can be deeply satisfying to nurture my body
Under Arm: And that my body is worth it
Top of Head: I'm willing to commit to nurturing my body now

Suggestions for Active Nurturing:

There are many ways you can choose to actively nurture your body. Here are some ideas to get you started. The more you commit to nurturing your body, the more ways you will find to do so. Have fun with this!

Eating: Eating in a nurturing way means eating mindfully. Try not to eat "on the go" or while sitting in front of the computer. Give yourself permission to only eat foods that taste good to you and agree with your body. Pay attention to how the food tastes as you eat it. Eat in an environment that feels relaxing to you.

Hydration: Pay attention to your body's thirst signals. Take a drink when you need it! It's ideal to keep water easily available at all times if you can. Toss that skunky old water bottle and invest in something you will enjoy drinking from. If you have an office or workstation that you are at most of the day, create a nurturing "hydration station" with an attractive glass pitcher and fancy glass.

Elimination: Take a bathroom break when you need it! This is also a good time to check in with your body and see if it needs anything else (e.g. a snack or some stretching out of tense muscles).

Moving: There are so many different ways to exercise! Choose ones that feel good to YOU. I know I get really bored working out on exercise machines, and that I much prefer doing cardio exercises outdoors, so my routine includes lots of walking, hiking, and cycling. Also, be willing to honour your body's needs for rest - some days it needs less movement, not more.

Sleeping: Is your sleeping environment honouring your body? Do you have a comfortable mattress? Are your pillows giving you the right kind of support? Do your sheets feel good on your skin? Is it dark enough, is the temperature ideal for you? Consider spraying your sheets with lavender water or linen spray for an extra treat when you climb into bed.

Clothing: Are you wearing clothes that are too tight? Itchy? Constantly need fiddling with? Make a commitment to choose clothing that feels good to wear.

Daily pampering: Treat yourself to at least one little "body luxury" every day - a rich, great smelling body lotion, a spritz of a favourite perfume, a foot rub or even a more vigorous self massage.

Weekly Body Nurturing Ritual: I highly recommend setting aside a special time each week for a more formal "Body Nurturing Ritual". This can be anything you want it to be, as long as it feels purely loving and nurturing towards your body. My own weekly ritual includes a hot soak in the tub with soothing essential oils, a mani/pedi, a foot rub, and a head-to-toe intensive moisturising. I do this on Sunday nights so I can start out the week feeling loved and pampered!

Self-nurturing is a huge topic, and I have just begun to touch on it here. It embraces many aspects that go beyond caring for your body to totally nurturing every aspect of yourself (physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually).

To explore this subject in more detail, I recommend the following resources:

The Woman's Comfort Book by Jennifer Louden
The Art of Extreme Self-Care by Cheryl Richardson

I would love to hear some of the ways you choose to actively nurture your body!

A Body Appreciation Exercise

2009-03-25T07:00:00.000-07:00

Since I posted the "Make Peace with Your Body" tapping script, I have received several requests for more body-themed scripts.

The following script is an exercise that I ask clients to do as "homework" in between sessions. Those of you who are familiar with the teachings of Abraham-Hicks will recognize it as a variation of their Rampage of Appreciation process. The idea here is to look for some things that you CAN appreciate about your body. I know for some people this will be quite a challenge; however, the very fact that you're alive and reading this blog post means that there must be at least a few things about your body that are working properly!

I suggest tapping through the first two rounds of the script, then seeing how many things you can find to appreciate about your body (print a copy of this post so you can write them down in the blank spaces provided in the second half of the script). It's okay if you can't think of enough items to fill in all the blanks; repeat a few if necessary so that the whole script is filled in. Then tap through the whole script again from beginning to end (4 rounds).

Setup (Karate Chop point):
Even though I haven't done such a great job of appreciating my body in the past, I deeply and completely love and accept myself
Even though I keep focusing more on what's wrong with my body, than on what's right, I love and accept myself anyway
Even though there are so many things I want to change about my body, I love and accept myself anyway
And I'm willing to consider the idea that I can appreciate my body fully and completely just the way it is right now

Eyebrow: I don't want to appreciate my body
Side of Eye: I keep focusing on the things I don't like about my body
Under Eye: There are so many things I want to change about my body
Under Nose: This body is nothing but trouble
Chin: I refuse to appreciate my body
Collarbone: I won't appreciate my body until it does what I want it to
Under Arm: This misbehaving body
Top of Head: I don't know whether I'm ready to appreciate it

Eyebrow: Maybe I can find a few things to appreciate about my body
Side of Eye: Maybe I can start to focus on all the parts that are working right
Under Eye: So many things in my body are working perfectly
Under Nose: I just haven't been noticing what's going right
Chin: I'm opening up to the idea
Collarbone: That I can find something to appreciate about my body
Under Arm: I'm willing to cut my body some slack
Top of Head: And start looking for things to appreciate about it

Eyebrow: I'm ready to appreciate my ________________

Side of Eye: And my ___________________

Under Eye: I appreciate my _______________________

Under Nose: And my _________________________

Chin: My body is so great at _____________________

Collarbone: I appreciate my ______________________

Under Arm: And my body's ability to ______________________

Top of Head: And my ___________________________

Eyebrow: I appreciate my _______________________

Side of Eye: And my _________________________

Under Eye: My body is so great at ______________________

Under Nose: I appreciate my _____________________

Chin: And my body's ability to _______________________

Collarbone: And my ___________________________

Under Arm: I'm filled with deep appreciation
Top of Head: For ALL the parts of my body

You may notice that after you have tapped through the script a few times, it is easier to find some more things to appreciate about your body! Keep adding items to your "body appreciation list" as you think of them. I recommend doing this exercise daily. Try it for a week and then check in with yourself to notice any ways you may be feeling differently about your body, or any ways your body may be feeling different to you.

Doing The Work on "I Hate My Body"

2009-03-16T07:00:00.000-07:00

Anyone who's known me for more than a couple of days probably knows that I am a HUGE fan of Byron Katie and her inquiry process known as "The Work". I love The Work because it is all about holding our stressful thoughts up to the light of examination to see if they are really true. It is a powerful process for finding peace. If you are not yet familiar with The Work, I encourage you to check out Katie's site. A detailed explanation of how to do The Work is here. Katie also has several insightful books; Loving What Is is a great place to start if you are interested in exploring her work in more detail.

In the video below (under 10 minutes long), you can watch Katie do The Work with a woman who is questioning her stressful thoughts about her body. This woman begins her inquiry with the statement, "I hate my body because I have not been able to fulfill most of my goals in life because of it." Watch what happens as she inquires into the truth of this statement. Note how Katie states that once we begin to question these thoughts, we open ourselves up to the possibility of being more loving towards our bodies. You may want to tap as you watch the video; you may notice some strong emotion coming up as the inquiry process unfolds.

Quite a few people have mentioned to me that they find The Work helpful, but that the mental shift they get after doing The Work doesn't seem to "stick" - they keep going back to inquire over and over again on the same statement. I have found that when this happens, combining EFT and The Work can help the shift to come easier, and that it is more permanent in nature.

You can easily apply EFT to any of the statements you encounter during your inquiry process. For example:

Is it true?
"Even though I'm sure it's absolutely true that I haven't been able to fulfill my goals in life because of my body"
"Even though I really want it to be true that I haven't been able to fulfill my goals in life because of my body, I'm open to the idea that it might not be true after all"

Who would I be without that thought?
"Even though I'm not sure who I'd be without the thought that I haven't been able to fulfill my goals in life because of my body."
"Even though I'm really scared to let go of this thought that I haven't been able to fulfill my goals in life because of my body."

The Turnarounds
EFT is fantastic for releasing resistance around the turnaround statements. In this example "My body has prevented me from fulfilling my goals" turned around:

"Even though I don't want to believe that my body has NOT prevented me from fulfilling my goals"
"Even though I have prevented me from fulfilling my goals"
"Even though I don't want to find any reasons why I have prevented me from fulfilling my goals"

(Katie encourages finding at least 3 ways that each turnaround statement is true.)

These are just a few examples of how EFT can be used when doing The Work. There are MANY possibilities. If you decide to try combining these two tools of peace, I would love to hear about your experiences!

Opening to A More Peaceful Relationship with Your Body

2009-03-09T07:11:00.000-07:00

"It is possible to experience peace no matter what might be 'wrong' with your body right now."

If you read this statement in my last post, rolled your eyes and exclaimed, "Yeah, right!" I completely understand. If your legs are in constant pain, or you've been struggling for years to lose the fifty extra pounds you've been carrying around, I know it can seem like feeling peaceful about your body is an awful lot to ask. You may feel completely justified in embracing more familiar emotions like anger, disappointment, or distrust regarding your body. This script can help you release some of your resistance about having a more peaceful relationship with your body. Try tapping through the script, and notice if your reaction towards the idea "I can feel more peaceful about my body" begins to change at all.

As you tap, note any phrases that seem to particularly "hit home" with you - you may want to tap a few rounds on each of these phrases. Also, note any thoughts that come up (such as "I can't feel peaceful about my body because I hate the way I look"). Again, try tapping a few rounds on each of these thoughts as well.

Setup (Karate Chop point):
Even though I don't want to make peace with my body right now, I love and accept myself anyway.
Even though feeling more peaceful about my body is a ridiculous idea, given everything that's wrong with it, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway.
Even though I can't imagine feeling more peaceful about my body until it stops giving me such a hard time, I love and accept myself anyway.

Eyebrow: What a dumb idea
Side of Eye: Make peace with my body?
Under Eye: You've got to be kidding me!
Under Nose: It's making me suffer
Chin: I refuse to feel peaceful
Collarbone: About this body of mine
Under Arm: That's caused me so much trouble
Top of Head: I'd rather just trade it in for a new model instead

Eyebrow: I'm used to doing battle with my body
Side of Eye: Is peace a possibility?
Under Eye: It's not safe to relax about my body
Under Nose: Maybe I can feel a little more peaceful
Chin: There is so much wrong with my body
Collarbone: Maybe I can look for something that's right
Under Arm: I'm not sure I'm ready to have more peaceful thoughts about my body
Top of Head: Maybe peace is easier than I think

Eyebrow: Maybe I can look for what's going right with my body now
Side of Eye: And find a few things I can appreciate about it
Under Eye: There's actually a whole lot going on that's right
Under Nose: Every minute of every day
Chin: Millions of things are going right in every cell of my body
Collarbone: There's a lot for me to feel peaceful about
Under Arm: I'm ready to feel that peace
Top of Head: I'm sending peace to every cell of my body

What's this blog all about?

2009-03-02T17:09:00.000-08:00

Welcome to Body Joy! This blog is for anyone who's interested in having a more peaceful relationship with their body. I believe it's possible for everyone to have peaceful, loving feelings about their body, and to experience a sense of total well-being. In fact, I believe this is our natural state, it's just that many of us have learned otherwise and have developed adversarial relationships with our bodies.

The focus of my writing here will be to support people with chronic illnesses, chronic pain, and weight issues in developing more peaceful relationships with their bodies. The primary tool I use to assist people in this process is EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), which is a simple yet powerful tool that anyone can easily learn.

Why the focus on peace?
If you have heard about EFT at all, you may have heard stories about some surprising, almost miraculous results that EFT has produced. While there are many examples of what we call "one-minute wonders" using EFT, most issues are not resolved this quickly. If you have been struggling to lose weight for 20 years, it's not likely you will suddenly lose 50 pounds after a one hour session of EFT. Most of the time, patience and persistence are what is required for EFT to work well on these sorts of issues. It's difficult to be patient and persistent if you are not at peace. In fact, in order for EFT to work well, it is important that you are not trying to "force" something to happen; you need to be able to relax and let whatever happens, happen.

If you are not feeling peaceful about your body, this also inhibits the healing process. "What we resist, persists"; if you are feeling angry, resentful, depressed, or any other negative emotion towards your body, those emotions are not conducive to the feeling of well-being that is necessary for healing to take place. Peace creates space for well-being to flow. It is possible to experience this peace no matter what might be "wrong" with your body right now.

My Story
I learned at a very young age that I couldn't trust my body not to let me down. From the time I was about two years old, I experienced chronic bladder infections. I also had many ear and throat infections as a child. It seemed I was always taking antibiotics for some infection or another. By the time I was in my early 20's, I wasn't getting sick with infections that often (although bladder problems were still an issue), but new physical problems presented themselves to me. I started experiencing severe gastro-esophageal reflux, which was so bad that even the best drug they had to give me at the time didn't help that much. No sooner had I started to get that problem "under control", when I began experiencing intense headaches, along with widespread pain throughout my body. I wasn't sure what was wrong with me, but it was becoming increasingly difficult for me to function normally. Finally, I went to a chiropractor to see if she could help reduce the pain. She diagnosed me with fibromyalgia (a rheumatologist later confirmed this diagnosis). At the ripe old age of twenty-three, I was given an antidepressant, which "might help take the edge off" the pain, and told that I was going to have to learn to live with this pain and that I would always have it. I was devastated.

While my story took many twists and turns after that, I can tell you that today, at nearly forty years old, I experience a level of well-being that I couldn't have dreamed would be possible back when I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. While I can't give EFT *ALL* of the credit, I know it has made an enormous difference in my physical and emotional healing. While I still sometimes have a little achiness and stiffness, intense pain is no longer a part of my daily life. Depression (which came in a nice package deal with the fibromyalgia) is a thing of the past. I wake up in the morning feeling energized, joyful, and at peace with my body. What's more, I know I can continue to feel this way, even if my body decides to spring a few surprises on me in the future. I know it's possible for me to love myself from head to toe, no matter what!

This is the gift I would like you to have, too. I hope you will join me as I explore the many ways EFT can support you in finding your own Body Joy.